While working for a company, I moved to another position within the same company for a promotion. It was exciting to switch from process management to marketing. It didn’t take long to regret the change. The person I thought I would report to went on a special project and never returned. She had such an energy that I knew I’d love working for her and learning from her. I ended up reporting to someone who would make a great coworker instead of a manager. I also discovered morale was in the basement with this department. A total shift from my previous one.
Then came the waves of nausea to take the situation to a new low. I discovered I was pregnant with number two. Instead of being excited, I was miserable. I liked the company, yet I couldn’t transfer because I hadn’t been in the new job long enough. The excitement of another baby couldn’t bring me out of the darkness of my job situation. After all, I had the nausea thing happening causing me to feel green whenever I drove to the office.
My only choice for getting out of the situation was to leave the company. I landed an interview with another company and the job sounded like it was written with me in mind. But I had a new dilemma that I had never faced before and no one else to ask. Should I tell the hiring manager I was pregnant? I researched this and asked around including a friend who worked in human resources. No one had definitive answers. I knew I couldn’t be the first dealing with this, but I couldn’t find anyone who had.
If I didn’t tell her, I felt like I was cheating her and not being truthful. If I told her, I could lose the opportunity to move to a better position and a happier situation.
I went to the company’s building and met with the manager and a colleague. They explained the position, expectations and hopes for the team. We all clicked.
Then I met with the manager in a one-on-one situation. We had a friendly conversation and she confirmed I was one of the finalists for the job. I paused. Let out deep breath. I explained to her I was in a situation and I felt the right thing to do was to tell her. So there, I told her I was three months pregnant. She responded like coworkers do when they heard of such exciting news.
That company was the last one I worked for before becoming a full-time freelancer. I landed the job and stayed with them for seven years. Interesting twist. The manager took a new job while I was on maternity leave. I returned from leave with no manager and only one colleague left behind (we had four of us when I started). That was another adventure, but one that set me on the path toward my freelance writing career.
So while I regretted accepting the promotion, it sent me on my way to eventually landing my first paid writing gig and becoming a full-time freelancer. Had I stayed with the original company, that might have never happened.
This post is an entry in the What I Learned from Adversity group writing project.
By the way, I had a third child. That was a breeze to announce to the boss as I was still with the company and it had been over three years since #2 arrived.
8 thoughts on “Facing Adversity without Lessons Learned”
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Hi Meryl, Your story is a fine example of why “it always works out for the best” is more than a platitude. Good for you having the courage to be honest – and good for us to learn “honesty is the best policy” is more than a platitude!
Brad Shorr´s last blog post… Overcoming Adversity in Sales – A Short Story
Merly, facing the music ain’t easy – otherwise we’d think nothing of it! But you did the right thing, and as God promised, in the long run, it all works out in the wash, y’know?
Besides, you’re the one who grew from the experience, right?
Thanks for the entry in our WILF this month, and a big ol’ tip o’ the hat to ya!
Hi Meryl, After reading your post it gave me the courage to enter the group writing project. I just finshed writing my post. It’s amazing how much we can learn from others if we just take the time. Thank you for sharing!
Meryl,
Congratulations for having the courage to be out front with your perspective employer about your situation.
In my view, you certainly did the right thing from both your own perspective and from the perspective of your employer.
From your own viewpoint, not being out front with them would have created a very difficult situation months down the track when you had to apply for maternity leave.
Also, from the viewpoint of your employer, they had every right to be informed about any information which could reasonably have been expected to influence their decision.
That said, I can’t imagine that it would have been easy and I congratulate you upon your courage.
Andrew´s last blog post… What I learned from almost being mugged
Brad, I live my life as honest and conscientious as possible. Even if someone can guarantee something will work in my favor and no one will find out — it will eat at me.
Robert, thanks for giving me something to write about. I hope this helps others in the same situation.
Avil, wow! That’s great. Never thought my story could help others in a different way.
Andrew, thank you. I never even considered that had I landed the job — and told them I was pregnant after starting the job, it would reflect poorly on me. I guess I was absorbed in the current moment.
Great story Meryl for a couple of reasons. Of course being up front with a prospective new employer is “the right thing to do ” – especially since the timing and the development of your bump would be hard to explain away at a later date.
However, I so often meet people who are striving for promotion – just because they think that is the next thing to measure their success by ( without serously thinking about all of the other possibilities). I am not suggesting for one minute that that was the case for you but the lesson you learned will be something I will share in future.
Jackie, I’m glad you can use my story to work with people striving for promotion. I had great interviews with the new department and thought it was a good move since I would get into marketing. I think if I could do it over again, I’d make the same decision based on what I knew at the time. I could not have asked the questions that would have helped me uncover the potential problems.