Freelance vs. Corporate: The Humorous Version

We’ve covered the good and bad of self-employment. Breaking away from the corporate world contains more advantages, but ones we wouldn’t want to admit.

  • No big brother. E-mail, use instant messenger and surf freely without worries of corporate eyes. Avoid potentially embarrassing discoveries. Not that we would do such things.
  • Wear birthday suit, PJs, sweats, bathing suit, clothes from the [pick a decade] decade to work. This doesn’t apply if you have an office outside the home. You wouldn’t want your office neighbors spreading bad things about you.
  • No pressure to beat the boss into work or wait until the boss leaves. If you have kids and work in a home office, you spend this time getting them out the door as quickly as possible and hoping they take the long way home.
  • No more bad hair day stress.
  • No more clothing competition. You wear the clothes for the job you want and not the job you have. It gets old and expensive especially when you throw in dry cleaning. Also no more figuring out what to wear on casual Fridays. We strongly recommend avoiding shorts, flip flops, and t-shirts when you have casual days.
  • Decorate your office any way you like. Like stick-on Garfields? Put ’em on! Like a funky calendar? Hang it up. Want a wall full of kid photos? Go for it. Love toys, sci-fi figurines, and knickknacks? No one cares about your obsessions — have fun! You can put the meaningless certificates away in a file. No need to show off your awards.
  • Sing, scream, use speakerphones at all times. No pesky neighbors to bug you or vice versa. Tone-deaf? Sing your heart out — just make sure your speakerphone is off. Now you can really have fun when you make phone calls to your significant other who won’t be able to talk back the same way.
  • Eat as loudly as you want. Still, be careful about food and drink around the computer and keyboard. It’s not a good thing to spill no matter where you work.
  • Exercise anytime and go right back to work without showering or putting good clothes back on (a big problem during summer months). Just wear your exercise clothes to work in. If you run errands, you look like a fitness buff — a good thing! Hey, you can wear your bathing suit now … so swim several times a day, if you want.
  • Do laundry, dishes and household chores during breaks. It’s important to take breaks from the computer, might as well get something done and save the evening time for family.
  • Run to school at the drop of a hat when a child is in trouble. No awkward conversations with the boss explaining you have to leave. Go to doctor’s appointments including the psychiatrist anytime without telling half the office where you’re going.
  • Lunch anytime and however long you want. No rushing to a restaurant before the crowd and swallowing food without chewing to ensure you get back to the office within an hour.
  • Take an animal or baby to work with you anytime. Of course, a child could get in the way of getting things done.

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